Keep your chin up, Michele -- whether they talk about you or not, this is good practice and a good exercise to undertake when you meet up with them - although like you say, it's probably not as bad as you fear! -- Anyways, I would hazard a guess and say alcohol, cigarettes, coke, and meth are the grab bag of worst drugs to abuse -- - although socially [very infrequently] I suspect alcohol and coke would be near harmless while the other two always harmful!